Offutt to host Enlisted Dining Out Published Sept. 29, 2009 By Staff Sgt. Danielle L. Williams 20th Intelligence Squadron OFFUTT AIR FORCE BASE, Neb. -- Offutt's 11th Annual Enlisted Dining-Out is set for Oct. 9 at the Patriot Club's Nebraska Ball Room. Social hour begins at 6 p.m. The following is a list of rules under which the mess will be conducted. They are designed to conform to tradition and promote levity. Violators of these rules are subject to the wrath of the Mister or Madam Vice President. All assigned penalties will be carried out before the membership. In keeping with Air Force heritage, for the many Airmen who haven't attended one before, the dining out will adhere to formal "rules of the mess." * Thou shalt arrive within 10 minutes of the appointed hour. * Thou shalt make every effort to meet all guests. * Thou shalt move to the mess when thou hearest the chimes and remain standing until seated by the president. * Thou shalt not bring lighted smoking material into the mess. * Thou shalt not leave the mess whilst convened. Military protocol overrides all calls of nature. * Thou shalt participate in all toasts unless thyself or thy group is honored with a toast. * Thou shalt ensure thy glass is always charged when toasting. * Thou shalt keep toasts and comments within the limits of good taste and mutual respect. Degrading or insulting remarks will be frowned upon by the membership; however, good-natured needling is highly encouraged. * Thou shalt not murder the Queens English. * Thou shalt not open the hangar doors (talk shop). * Thou shalt always use proper toasting procedures. * Thou shalt fall into disrepute with thy peers if the pleats of thy cummerbund are not properly faced. * Thou shalt also be painfully regarded if thy clipon bow tie rides at an obvious list. Thou shalt be forgiven, however, if thou also list comparably. * Thou shalt consume thy meal in a manner becoming a gentleperson. * Thou shalt not laugh at ridiculously funny comments unless the president first shows approval by laughing. * Thou shalt express thy approval by tapping thy spoon on the table. Clapping thy hands will not be tolerated. * Quibbling shalt not be tolerated. * Thou shalt remember the president never errs and thou shalt not question any presidential decrees. * When the mess adjourns, thou shalt rise and wait for the president and guests to depart. * Thou shalt enjoy thyself to the fullest and summon a chariot should thou partake of too much grog. * The president of the mess reserves the right to add to or change the rules at his discretion. Infractions warranting a trip to the "grog bowl" may be noted at any time by the President, Mister or Madam Vice, or any member of the mess. When the President directs a violator to the grog bowl, the individual proceeds to the bowl promptly and: * Halts centered on the head table and salutes the President. * Performs an "about face." * Fills a cup full of grog and toasts "To the mess." * Drains the contents of the cup without removing it from the lips. * Inverts the cup over his or her head to show it is empty. * Places the drained cup in trash receptacle. * Completes another "about face." * Salutes the President. * Returns to his or her seat. With the exception of the toast "To the Mess," the violator is not permitted to speak during this process. For enlisted members, the mess dress or semi-formal dress uniform is worn. For retired enlisted personnel, the mess dress, semi-formal or civilian attire is appropriate. Male civilians should wear the appropriate black tie dinner dress. If you have any questions regarding the Enlisted Dining Out, contact Senior Master Sgt. James M. Langner at 294-4838.